Trans-Siberian Orchestra: The Lost Christmas Eve [2004]

The Lost Christmas Eve is the fourth album by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It was released on October 12, 2004, and is the last album in their “Christmas trilogy”, with Christmas Eve and Other Stories (1996) and The Christmas Attic (1998) coming before it. All three albums, as well as their The Ghosts of Christmas Eve DVD, were featured in the The Christmas Trilogy box set.


In this symphonic tale, the little angel from this album’s two Christmas predecessors is once again sent on a mission fromGod: to find a person who is most like the image of Jesus. However, unlike the other trips, the angel can only use his wings for when he arrives on Earth and when he leaves. Looking for a likely place to search, the angel lands in New York City.

As soon as he touches the ground, he notices a street performer weaving a story about the ball of the Wizards of Winter to a group of children. He then enters a hotel, and as he enters the ballroom, he watches the ghosts in there dance around. Then he leaves and walks into a blues club, where a jazz band is playing music, eventually the whole bar gets together and starts singing along with the jazz band, except for one man who leaves without a word.

The angel noticed that the man left a trail of blood. The blood came from a wound in the man’s heart and only angels are able to see this. As he followed the man, who had been the last one home from work, the angel saw that this man did not like Christmas. Due to his curiosity, the angel peered into the man’s heart to find the reason behind the man’s yuletide hatred.

As the angel delved into the man’s past, he saw that he had not always hated Christmas and in fact loved it like any other child. His family was a good Christian one and he had been taught that all of man are created in God’s image. He eventually got married and his wife became pregnant. On the night of the birth, things were going as planned and normal. However, the man then noticed that there were many doctors rushing to his wife’s room, but there were none leaving. The doctor told him that after the birth, she had hemorrhaged and that, unfortunately, they were unable to save her. When they gave him his son, the baby looked strange. The doctor explained that because attention was focused on the mother, the baby had been neglected air and had suffered severe brain damage; he would be unable to function as a normal person in adulthood and would be lucky if he learned to talk. Enraged by this outcome, the man shouted at God, saying that he saw nothing of God in his son. The man gave the baby back to the nurse and asked if the child could be placed into a facility.

After seeing this, the angel let go of the man, who did not notice the angel peering into him. He later encountered a young child in front of a toy store, who claimed to be staying with her parents on a third floor room of the hotel across the street. She asked him if he had a son. The man responded with a short and gruff “No,” which reminded him of his son. The man told the girl to go back to her room, then called a cab and set off to find his son.

Eventually, he arrived at a hospital, similar to the one where his son was born, and asked about his son. A nurse took him to a room where the son, now a grown man, was rocking cocaine babies to sleep. When the man asked if his son could talk, the nurse, realizing that it had been a while since they had met, said, “No, but he’s a good listener.” After so many years, father and son were reunited.

The man asked his son to move out of the complex he lived in to stay with his father, to which he agreed. They then took a cab to the hotel across the street from the toy store to find the girl and asked for the girl’s room. However, strangely enough, there was no third floor to the hotel, nor did they have a room with the same number the girl had told him. Confused, the man returned to the cab with his son. The man then took out his briefcase and dumped its contents out on the sidewalk. The son gave a puzzled look, to which the man explained that he was going to quit his job to get a job at the hospital where his son worked. The son gleefully smiled.

When the angel returned to Heaven, God asked the angel who was most like Jesus. The angel at first gave the name of the man’s son, but then changed this to the name of the story teller, the jazz player, the man, and all of the other people he had seen. It was at this point that the angel realized that at Christmastime, almost everyone appears to be in Jesus’s image.

Track listing

No. Title Length
1. “Faith Noel” (Instrumental) 4:32
2. “The Lost Christmas Eve” 5:33
3. “Christmas Dreams” 3:54
4. Wizards in Winter” (Instrumental) 3:06
5. “Remember” 3:25
6. “Anno Domine” 2:13
7. “Christmas Concerto” (Instrumental) 0:42
8. “Queen of the Winter Night” 3:11
9. “Christmas Nights in Blue” 4:18
10. “Christmas Jazz” (Instrumental) 2:16
11. “Christmas Jam” 3:47
12. “Siberian Sleigh Ride” (Instrumental) 3:08
13. “What Is Christmas?” 2:51
14. “For the Sake of Our Brother” 3:09
15. “The Wisdom of Snow” 2:01
16. “Wish Liszt (Toy Shop Madness)” (Instrumental) 3:42
17. “Back to a Reason, Pt. 2” 4:52
18. “Christmas Bells, Carousels & Time” (Instrumental) 1:04
19. “What Child Is This?” 5:57
20. “O’ Come All Ye Faithful” (Instrumental) 1:26
21. “Christmas Canon Rock” 5:02
22. “Different Wings” 2:44
23. “Midnight Clear” (Instrumental) 1:38


1. Faith Noel


2. The Lost Christmas Eve

Another year has come and past
Like moments through an hourglass
And at the end of this year’s trail
An offering, a final tale

Of love, long lost
And then refound
And the child by which
Those dreams were bound

Of a dusty hotel
That was long past old
And the shadows and the memories
Its hallways still hold

For things that are old
Have the best tales to tell
And usually,
They tell them well

And so it’s here, my dear children
That our story truly starts
When the lord sent once more to the earth
An angel, with a childlike heart

And on this night his mission was
To find somewhere on this earth
That human that best reflected his son
And carried on his work

And since this mission from his lord
Had to be completed on this one night
The angel quickly unfolded his wings
And towards the earth took flight

And this night, in case you have not guessed
Was once more Christmas Eve
When snow and light and angels’ flights
All together weave

But of the angel’s instructions
There was one thing more
That would make this journey to the earth
Harder than all the ones before

For the lord had also told the angel
That he could only use his wings twice this Christmas Eve
Once when he descended to the earth
And once more when he would leave
(not unlike ourselves some think,
Or at least so I believe)

Now this put quite a complication
In what the angel planned
For now he had to choose most carefully
Exactly where he would land

He needed to find a single place
That would represent all mankind
But humans were such a varied lot
Such a place would surely be hard to find

A single place where there would be
Humans of every race and creed
The rich and poor, the thrilled and bored
The failures with those who succeed

But after a few moments
Carefully placed in thought
The answer appeared in the angel’s mind
The city called New York

And as he neared that city
Where all those souls did dwell
He felt himself being drawn towards
An old, rundown hotel

For in a city that usually had
Guards at nearly every single door
This one just had a sign that said “vacancies,
There is always room for one more”

Now why the angel decided to stop there
He could not quite say the reason
But he thought the sign upon that hotel
Somehow fit the sentiment of this season

Now even after all these years
The building was still a work of art
And though some façade had crumbled here and there
Most still had their parts

The walls were made of granite
Not aluminum or steel
And every pillar and ballistrade
Still had its artist’s feel

Every gutter had a gargoyle
Every gargoyle had its wings
For angels can appreciate
Other flying things

So he landed on a cathedral roof
Across the street from that hotel
And looked down upon the world below
Where all those souls did dwell

And sitting on that rooftop
With his friend the winter wind
He gazed carefully at that scene below
As he slowly took it in

On a street in the night
In the cold winter’s light
A child stands alone and she’s waiting

And the light that’s out there
It just hangs in the air
As if it was just hesitating

And the snow it comes down
And it muffles the sound
Of dreams on their way to tomorrow

And when they appear
This night will hold them near
For where they will lead
She will follow

For here in this city of lights
This evening awakens
The dreams that it might
The winter it conjures
The spells it will weave
The snow gently covers the ground
Christmas Eve

In this scene
On this night
There’s an ancient hotel
Where shadows they do tend to wander

And the ghosts that live here
Hold each moment so dear
For time’s not a thing one should squander

And they recount their sand
As it runs through their hand
And examine each moment for meaning

It can be wished upon
Till the moment it’s gone
Like day disappears into evening

For here in this city of lights
This evening awakens
The dreams that it might
The winter it conjures
The moment is seized
The snow gently covers the ground
Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas


Through this night
The dream still wanders
As it was meant to be
And every year this night grows fonder

Of children and circumstance
Caught in this childhood dance
As the world turns around
Keeping dreams on the ground

Windows of frosted ice
Prisming candlelight
And somehow we
Start to believe

In the night and the dream
As it cuts through the noise
With the whisper of snow
As it starts to deploy

In the depths of a night
That’s about to begin
With the feeling of snow
As it melts on your skin

And it covers the land
With a dream so intense
That it returns us all
To a child’s innocence

And then what you’d thought lost
And could never retrieve
Is suddenly there to be found
On Christmas Eve
On Christmas Eve
On christmas…

3. Christmas Dreams

And so it was in front of this hotel
Our angel did finally arrive
And standing at one corner was a young man
Who caught the angel’s eye

He had a small group of children
Gathered round him there
Who all were quietly listening
Which for children is quite rare

He was telling them christmas tales
And each one brought more children near
Where they nestled round him on those steps
So each word they could clearly hear

He then told them a christmas story
About how all men are brothers
And when that story had ended
The children clamored for another

“where does christmas go
When its day is through?
Where does christmas go,” they asked,
“and what does christmas do?”

Now children have such simple requests
Their wishes are so small
That the young man saw no reason why
He could not grant them all

Somewhere beyond where the light rarely goes
Somewhere beyond where the dark barely breathes
Somewhere this night where the dark only knows

She awaits ever patient
She awaits rarely seen
But her moments are taken
For in the dead of the night
Gathering light
Christmas dreams

I want to wrap all my moments around her
I want to watch as she glitters the night
Floats her dreams in the air
People watch, children stare
At these tears of captured light

While she awaits ever patient
She awaits rarely seen
Still her moments are taken
For in the dead of the night
Gathering light
Christmas dreams

And a tear falls upon her snow-white hair
And it runs to the end where it lingers there
Then it falls through the air of a winter’s sky
Till it captures a dream and it’s crystallized

Let it go!
Let it go!
This old world that I know

For soon everything will be changing
In a single glance
Where it all enchants
And every hope is worth saving

And a tear falls upon her snow-white hair
And it runs to the end where it lingers there
Then it falls through the air of a winter’s sky
Till it captures a dream and it’s crystallized

Let it go!
Let it go!
This old world that I know

For soon everything will be changing
In a single glance
Where it all enchants
And every hope
Every hope
Every hope is worth saving

4. Wizards In Winter

And so it was in front of this hotel
Our angel did finally arrive
And standing at one corner was a young man
Who caught the angel’s eye

He had a small group of children
Gathered round him there
Who all were quietly listening
Which for children is quite rare

He was telling them christmas tales
And each one brought more children near
Where they nestled round him on those steps
So each word they could clearly hear

He then told them a christmas story
About how all men are brothers
And when that story had ended
The children clamored for another

“where does christmas go
When its day is through?
Where does christmas go,” they asked,
“and what does christmas do?”

Now children have such simple requests
Their wishes are so small
That the young man saw no reason why
He could not grant them all

They liked his stories so much
They begged him not to let it end
So he told them about the wizards of winter
Whose winter ball they must attend

How these wizards decorated their whole world
With icicles, frost and snow
And how with the dreams of this night beneath it
It all would magically start to glow

And the snow seemed to obey the young man’s every gesture
In the cold December’s air
And as for the wizards’ imperial ball
Well, they were already there


5. Remember

Now every moment the angel spent listening
His time on earth diminished
But the angel found himself waiting there
Until each story was finished

He had only several hours left
For the quest he had been assigned
But angels like small children
Have trouble keeping track of time

But in the end it seemed this delay
Had turned out for the best
For now there were grownups all around
Listening with the rest

For as they listened to his stories
Each one till the very end
Those adults remembered their own childhoods
And a time when faith was not pretend

Remember long ago

On a night with a gentle falling snow

Falling snow
Falling snow

Can I offer you
What christmas dares
To know?

6. Anno Domine

Christmas is how
In every nation
That hope is passed
Through generations

From old to young
And sometimes i’m told
It’s actually passed
From young to old

Yes, our angel had been quite impressed
With this youth that he had found
But then across the street he heard
An old familiar sound

It was a multitude of voices
From the old cathedral’s choir
Singing out about this night
And the hopes that it inspires

On this night of hope and salvation
One child lies embraced in a dream
Where each man regardless of station
On this night can now be redeemed

Where every man regardless of his nation
Ancestral relations
On this night the past can fly away

And that dream we’ve dreamed most
That every child is held close
On this night that dream won’t be betrayed

All as one
Raise your voices!
Raise your voices!
All as one
On this christmas day!

All rejoice
Raise your voices!
Raise your voices!
All rejoice
Anno domine!

On this night when no child’s forgotten
No dream sleeps where he cannot see
No man here is misbegotten
And this night’s dreams are still yet to be

Where every man regardless of his nation
Ancestral relations
On this night the past can fly away

And that dream we’ve dreamed most
That every child is held close
On this night that dream won’t be betrayed

All as one
Raise your voices!
Raise your voices!
All as one
On this christmas day!

All rejoice
Raise your voices!
Raise your voices!
All rejoice
Anno domine!

7. Christmas Concerto

After the song was over
Nearly every person there
Went to the cathedral’s basement
And started setting up tables and chairs

For that night this church would feed
Any person in life who had less
And both those that gave and those that received
Left that night feeling blessed

Then the angel remembered something
That his lord’s son had once said
On how one truly followed him
When words and acts were wed

Some people claim to follow him
But themselves they just deceive
For his lord’s son had said,
“you will know who truly follows me
Not by what they say, but by their deeds”

And this church was clearly filled
With kind people of goodwill
But the angel had more time left on this night
And continued to search on still

So the angel left the parishioners
With their christmas meal in happy bliss
And returned once more to the hotel
To make sure that there was no one there he had missed

And passing by a village square
He heard a brass quartet
Whose christmas concerto in the key of g
He felt lighten his every step


8. Queen Of The Winter Night

And so back at the hotel
Our angel again arrived
But this time he went up the front steps
Which, of course, led him inside
(it’s one of those things that architects
Conveniently decide)

Now hotels are quite like people
No two exactly the same
And this one had such a magical past
The angel found himself quite entertained

The foyer still had an elegance
That the years could not disguise
And the shadows of christmas eves long disappeared
This night, still gently glided by

For in this hotel, here side by side
The past and the present dwelled
And the ghosts who lived here not only lived
They honestly, lived well

The lobby had a steinway piano
That was steeped in memories
And some said duke Ellington’s fingers
Still lingered on those keys

There was a grand palace ballroom
Where princesses had once waltzed
Whose beauty and sense of style
The newspapers would constantly exhault

The ghosts of Rockefeller’s and Vanderbilt’s
Still met at their Christmas Eve charity balls
Raising money not for themselves
But raising it for all
(and the sound of their children laughing
Still echoed in these halls)

Now these spirits of course, could not be seen
By any human eyes
But each one smiled at the angel
When they saw him walking by

And these ghosts reminded the angel
How every human waiting to be born,
And every life that had already left
When it was tired out and worn

Were connected by those alive right now
Which gave the living quite a trust,
To pass on what was best and good
Inside of each of us

Now within each guest room he heard many hearts
And behind each heart there was a life
And the angel carefully read them all
With the next hour of that night

When he reached the grand palace ballroom
It was behind closed mahogany doors
And when the angel was passing by it
He could hear music begin once more

It seemed that since this room was built
Musicians did permanently reside
And then the angel did what we all would do
He went to look inside

And there he found such a majestic orchestra
To please all, it would be enough
But then someone plugged a guitar in
And the volume, it crept up

So with a song inspired by Mozart’s
Famous “queen of the night”
The orchestra added the word, “winter”
And some notes, some fog, some lights


9. Christmas Nights In Blue

He could have stayed there the entire night
For to him music was the voice of god
For it never needed translation
And could lift up lives that were often quite hard

But then he heard a different kind of music
From somewhere else close by
And he followed the trail of those New notes
Till he found himself outside

The notes led him to a blues bar
That was right next to the hotel
And the angel watched some lonely people enter it
And wondered if this
Was where all the lonely people did dwell

Then another guardian angel
Who happened to be near
Told him about the old blues bar
And whispered in his ear

“here the tragically beautiful
And the beautifully tragic
Drift through this night
In a last quest for magic

Their faces are masks
That so artfully disguise
The wounds in their hearts
The scars in their eyes

Now these scars in their eyes
Never hurt, never bleed
But like cracks in a mirror
They distort all they see

For when the heart’s an open wound
Its greatest threat, I fear
Is that the salt rubbed into it
Does come from one’s own tears

Now there are many places on this earth
That one thinks that god has forgot
But one can often find an angel or a saint
Where one assumes angels and saints are not”

And then the other angel reminded him
Of their lord’s point of view
“you’ll know them not by how they appear
You’ll know them by what they do”

So when the next patron went inside
The angel followed him undetected
But what he found within that bar
Was not quite what he expected

There was an old piano player there
Playing with a honky-tonk sound
And everyone who entered that place depressed
That piano player turned their night around

And one by one he’d draw each person
Out of their self-imposed cage
And before they realized it
He had them singing on the stage

Just another night in New York city
Snow comes down looks real pretty
Don’t know how but suddenly there you are
With jelly roll Morton playin’ for the bar

Inside here, lights are low
But each song has its own glow
As he floats them through that smokey air
You just can’t believe he’s really there

How old is he?
Cannot say
But claims he taught cab calloway
And on this night I somehow believe him
Knows every song that christmas got
Even ones my brain has dropped
Just him and that old fir tree
All lit up this night
Electric blue

Just another night in New York city
Snow comes down looks real pretty
Can’t believe but suddenly there you are
Talking with strangers sittin’ cross the bar
Suddenly, all are laughin’
This night’s smart, always craftin’
Building bridges nearly everywhere
Hits a wall, it just builds a stairs

Outside the colored lights they bleed
For snow is white and colors need
As it just comes down like pure salvation
It offers all its amnesty
And makes your neighbor different see
By the light of that fir tree
And this old bar
Electrified in blue

I gotta drop dead simple
Childhood view of salvation
Perhaps that’s how it was always meant to be
And the more I add up all this information
It seems it all comes down in the end to you and me

So you look around till you find a phone
Then you call your mom and everyone at home
And the bar looks on and they start to cheer
When you talk to folks you haven’t seen in years

And the snow comes down
And the children play
And they pray to god
It never goes away
And a childhood prayer
Should never be denied
As the night rolls on
Till it’s carolized


And on this tree
The lights are done
But the colors here are down one
I guess it kind of fits the situation
Ornaments still shining bright
Watch them glitter in the light
Just this old fir tree and me
All lit up this night
Electric blue

10. Christmas Jazz

Then a guitarist and a bass player
Read some notes off a music page
And added a little bit of jazz
A sound that never seems to age


11. Christmas Jam

Now that old piano player knew
There were other musicians in that crowd
And one by one he brought them up
And the music, it got loud

Turn it up
Christmas jam

12. Siberian Sleigh Ride

The band played on and on
With no one looking at their watch
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better
They would turn it up a notch


13. What Is Christmas?

By this time a harder rocking stage
Would be impossible to find
And though no one was now drinking
The owner did not seem to mind

And the angel marveled how one man
Could turn around a life
And then that life turn around another’s
And how it rippled through this night

But there was someone in that room
Whose heart had not been changed
A heart that had grown so hard
You’d have thought it could never be arranged

It was the businessman from downtown
Who had stopped there to rest his feet
And he clung to his drink
(where he watched his thoughts sink)
While any strangers, he refused to greet

You could see upon his face
How happiness had been so long deferred
It was practically as if unhappiness
Had somehow become preferred

Now the angel had not seen the businessman
Though they had in that room been near
Nor did the angel see him as he left the bar
When he could no longer stand this christmas cheer

And as the businessman exited the door
He heard someone complaining on the TV
It was the “grinch” ranting against christmas
And the man found that he agreed

What is christmas?
Tinseled fairytales
Day old stockings lined up in a row

What is christmas
Could someone tell me that?
What is christmas?
Surely, I don’t know

And everywhere these lights
Who needs to color night?
Could this whole thing be planned?
I do not understand

This christmas
Trees with colored lights
Underneath they still are only trees
Do you think that one day perhaps they might
Find that christmas
Is kind of a disease?

Every year it’s waiting for me
Waiting for me
Every year it constantly defies
Placing strangers
There before me
There before me
Spreading hope and cheer
Mixed in with happiness
Fraternal bliss and other christmas lies!

And there’s one more thing that I have discovered
And I would now like you to know
The reason for christmas I now realize
Is an excuse to tolerate snow
I don’t even like the sound of it
Anyway, where was I
Oh, yes!

What is christmas?
Candles everywhere
A fire hazard any other day
Children light them
No one seems to care
All for christmas

Every year it returns here
And every year it’s waiting for me
Why can’t christmas disappear
And just pretend it never saw me
Every year I get my hopes up
That it will somehow just leave
But every year I wake to find
That once again it now is Christmas Eve

14. For The Sake Of Our Brother

And though his time was growing strained
He could not walk away from this soul in pain
For in the dark he had now seen
The bleeding of this wound extreme

So along the snow covered sidewalk
The angel did carefully step
Following the trail of blood drops
Combined with tears that had never been wept

And then he saw the businessman
Who had been grumbling about this night
And he wondered how that man had carried this wound
So long throughout his life

He watched the man walk past the church
Where a song seemed to reach out for him
But the man just walked right past it
And would not let it in

In a stable
In a manger
In the cold winter’s air
In the arms of his mother
A child’s lying there

In a city
In a village
Though the years have gone by
The child still remains
With the dream still close by

And each year on this night that child reawakens
And each year on this night that hope rebegins
That the dream he has offered might one day be taken

For the sake of our brother
For the child who’s forgotten
For the dream that is still lying there

O’ come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
O’ come ye, o’ come ye
To Bethlehem
Come and adore him
Born the king of angels

O’ come let us adore him
O’ come let us adore him
O’ come let us adore him
Christ the lord

In a stable
In a manger
In the cold winter’s air
In the arms of his mother a child’s lying there

15. The Wisdom Of Snow

Now why this man’s soul was bleeding
The angel had to understand
So invisible, he stood by him
And then gently touched his hand

Which caused the man to stand there still
Despite the winter’s cold
And while he stood there in that trance
The angel read his soul

It seemed the man was not always like
The man he had become
And that angel wondered how that change had happened
And when it had begun

The man had been born to a kind and religious family
And raised in the midwest
And all throughout his childhood
This man, clearly, had been blessed

He grew up believing, among other things
Man was made in the image of god
He went to school, observed all rules
While working very hard

He had always tried to help others
Excelled at nearly every task
And when he’d graduated high school
Of course, he was the first one in his class

And in his eighteenth summer
When it was time for him to leave
He had offers from several colleges
All of them ivy league

And at college in all his studies
He always received straight “a”s
And when he tried his hand in theater
He got the lead in the senior play

It appeared to nearly everyone
There was no talent that he lacked
And for three years on the football team
He was, the star quarterback

And there he also met the girl
Who did become his wife
With her, his world was now complete
He had the perfect life

When they had graduated college
They were wed in a ceremony quite grand
Then they moved to New York
In a dream they seemed caught
Where all had been perfectly planned

She decorated their park avenue apartment
In a 1920’s art-deco style
And six months after they had moved in
She told him, they would soon be having a child

And after their first ultrasound
He knew they were having a son
Their lives could not have been better
And they had only just begun

Together they arrived early at the hospital
On the delivery date
The father was taking no chances
And did not want to risk being late

But while waiting outside the delivery room
He could tell that something was going wrong
For too many doctors were rushing in
With none coming out for too long

When her own doctor finally came out
With several nurses at his side
He said that his wife had started hemorrhaging
And despite their best efforts, she died

Then in an effort to console him
A nurse gave him his newborn to hold
But from the way the child felt limp in his arms
He knew there was still more bad news to be told

The doctor then gave the prognosis
As gently as anyone could
But before he could finish explaining
The father only too well understood

The child had been cut off from oxygen
For minutes, which is far too long
The damage was now irreversible
His brain permanently malformed

He’d never hold a job,
Learn to read or ever talk
And it would be a miracle
If the child even learned how to walk

And with those words the father felt
His entire world falling apart
And he stumbled for the words to express
The tearing inside of his heart

He cried out, why did god have to take her
While she was still so young
And then as if to cut him deeper
Leave this thing here as his son

“please explain to me god’s wisdom
How could he decide
To take from me my precious wife
While leaving this alive

There is no reason for this life
Why does he even exist
And if he had never been born
There is no way he’d have ever been missed

If man is made in god’s image
Then something here is surely amiss
For there is nothing of god
Nothing of god
Nothing of god
Nothing of god
Nothing of god in this”

And then he asked for the child
To be placed in a state run home
And after he had signed the papers
He walked into that night alone

And in this world he found unkind
He built a wall around his mind
And every year he’d add new parts
Until it had also enclosed his heart

He kept his job and paid his debts
As he slowly became a silhouette
Of a man walking among the tombs
While living his life within his wounds

He distanced himself from all his friends
Even his sisters and brothers
And as time it went by, he developed his eyes
So they could only see the flaws in others

With this final glimpse, the angel stepped away
And the man shook himself out of his trance
Then continued his walk back towards his home
And few would have given his soul half of a chance

And the angel himself felt helpless
As he watched that old man there
So he did what even humans do
And he quickly said a prayer

And as the prayer flew to his lord
The angel did decide
To carefully follow the old man
And stay closely by his side

For on this night can one deny
The gift of a more sympathetic eye
To cast upon our fellow man
And on this night to understand

The frailty of childhood dreams
Like fireflies over summer streams
And if one dared to remove time’s veil
Could one retrace those childhood trails?

But whispers in the winter’s wind
Told of rescued dreams, forgiven sins
And who among us shall be deemed
To rescue some forgotten dream?

So on this night of Christmas Eve
As once again the spirits weave
Its snowswept dreams and colored lights
With bits of magic into each life

And as the snow comes gently down
Its soul intent to reach the ground
To cover scars the world still feels
Perhaps to give them time to heal

For as men invest in money
And professors in what they know
God invests in mercy
Like winter invests in snow


16. Wish Liszt (Toy Shop Madness)

Now the old man was nearing a toy shop
Where he could hear a music box kind of sound
From a miniature carousel with its miniature horses
All circling faithfully around

And a little girl wearing a Russian styled coat
Was carefully looking inside
At the horses and knights and the trains with their lights
While she was imagining they all were alive

For at this time a child will dare
To see what is perhaps not there
Or at least not there to adult eyes
Who have forgotten how to fantasize


17. Back To A Reason (Part II)

Now that young girl, outside the store
Was trying to capture snow’s magic
But each flake melted at her touch
Which her young mind found quite tragic

And while chasing an elusive snowflake
That was determined to reach the ground
She bumped into the businessman passing by
And nearly knocked him down

And thinking she was in trouble
The child quickly apologized
But the man was not accepting it
She could see it in his eyes

She explained she had been looking in the toy shop
That tomorrow would be christmas day
But the man muttered words she could not understand
So she searched for something else she could say

“do you have any children?” the child asked the man
“no,” was his instant reply
And though he said it in his firmest voice
In his heart he knew he had lied

The girl was getting on his nerves
Which were already shot
Something about her bothered him
But he could not say quite what

Then he noticed the time was approaching midnight
What was she doing on the street?
When he asked the girl this question
The child seemed to retreat

She said she was staying with her parents
At the hotel, right next door
They were there for just this one night
In room twelve twenty-four

Then he said, “you best get back there
As quick as you can fly!”
And he watched as she ran all the way
Until she was safely back inside

Then he took several steps
In the direction towards his home
But then he hesitated
And took out his mobile phone

And called up the institution
Where he had left his son
To find out if he was still there and alive
Wondering if the past could be undone

The operator who answered, searched the computer
To see if the child had survived
And she was sincerely happy to tell him
“your son is no longer here, but he is still alive!”

Then the lady who was very kind
Said, “if you have a short while
I can give you all the information
That is here inside his file

I see that at the age of twelve
He had finally learned to walk
And could understand most things people said
But has never learned to talk

He’s living uptown in the Bronx
At a boarding house hotel”
And then the lady gave him the phone number
And hotel’s address as well

And for the first time in many years
The man thought about his life
And all the things he had left behind
And, of course, he thought about his wife

And he wondered if she had lived
The things they might have done
But really most of all right now
He thought about his son

Standing all alone
I bled for you
I wanted to
Each drop my own

Slowly they depart
But fall in vain
Like desert rain
And still they fall on and on and on

Got to get back to a reason
Got to get back to a reason I once knew
And this late in the seasons
One by one distractions fade from view

Drifting through the dark
The sympathy
Of night’s mercy
Inside my heart
Is your life the same?
Do ghosts cry tears?
Do they feel years?
As time just goes on and on and on

Got to get back to a reason
Got to get back to a reason I once knew
And this late in the seasons
One by one distractions fade from view

I’m looking for you
I’m looking for I don’t know what
I can’t see there anymore
And all my time’s been taken

Is this what it seems?
The lure of a dream
And i’m afraid to walk back through that door
To find that i’ve awakened

The night seems to care
The dreams in the air
The snow’s coming down
It beckons me dare

It whispers, it hopes
It holds and confides
And offers a bridge
Across these divides

The parts of my life
I’ve tried to forget
It’s gathered each piece
And carefully kept

Somewhere in the dark
Beyond all the cold
There is a child
That’s part of my soul

Got to get back to a reason
Got to get back to a reason I once knew
And this late in the seasons
One by one distractions fade from view
The only reason I have left is you

18. Christmas Bells, Carousels & Time

If he went there and saw his son
What words could he possibly say
Would his own child recognize him
And if he did, would he turn away?

Dare he rekindle this hope
Perhaps to only watch it die
And standing there in this man’s place
I wonder, would you or I?

Now the angel knew if enough time passes by
Any hope can be smothered
So before it was dead, to the first prayer he had said
The angel quickly added another


19. What Child Is This?

The old man stood there thinking
While staring in that old toy shop
With its carousel still turning round
In front of a music box clock

For what good’s a clock without a chime
A useless thing that just keeps time
Recording moments that come and leave
But this clock’s chimes struck midnight
Upon a lost Christmas Eve

And when the final chime had spoken
And the twelfth bell had finally rung
The indecision in the father was broken
He now knew what had to be done

So he got into a yellow cab
And prayed that it might lead
Through all this snow and streetlight glow
To a past he might retrieve

When the taxi dropped him off
At the boarding house hotel
It was a rundown building
With a musty, rundown smell

And he asked for his son
From the hotel’s night desk clerk
Who said his son was not there
He was not back from work

When the father said that was impossible
The clerk replied, “i’m not here to debate
But he works at the hospital, just down the block
If you want you can sit here and wait
But he never returns till real late”

Then the father tried asking another question
But the clerk went back to watching his TV
Which was also playing, “how the grinch stole christmas”
And the father mused, “this movie has no sympathy,
Well, at least not when it comes down to me”

Once outside he saw the hospital’s entrance
And went to information by the front door
Who confirmed that his son had a job there
And worked up on the seventh floor

So he took the elevator up to that floor
Which was marked “maternity”
And the man knew in his heart that this was a mistake
For his son working here could not be

But the nurse on duty reconfirmed that he did
And since her rounds were about to begin
If he would like to follow her
She would gladly take the father to him

So he followed her to a large dark room
That to him seemed unusually empty
Except for several incubators glowing on the right
Each with a trembling baby

These infants were all extremely frail
And obviously in incredible pain
And this sight cut deep into that father’s soul
And he asked the nurse, please, to explain

“these children were born to mothers
Who were addicted to crack cocaine
And these children are born in complete withdrawal
For that drug is still deep in their veins

We can give them no other drugs to ease their withdrawals
Since they are born premature and quite frail
And any form of pain killer
Could easily cause their small hearts to fail”

“and what does my son do here?”
The father asked, “he is not a patient, I assume”
The nurse did not say a single word
But nodded to the far left corner of the room

And there the father saw his son
Who looked like himself when he was a younger man
Rocking back and forth in a rocking chair
A trembling infant held in his hands

And in his arms the child did not cry
But slept to silent lullabies
And his son rocked that newborn back and forth
Until finally, a dream was caught
But still at his rocking, his son faithfully kept
Till that poor child’s trembling had also, finally, left

Then the nurse whispered softly
Into the father’s ear
Something that a blind man could see
But the father needed to hear

Whispered to him in this room
Filled with mankind’s misbegotten
Something that the father had known once
But somehow had forgotten

She said, “it is this way with each of us
We all need to be held, at least twice
Once upon the day that we are born
And once more when we leave this life

Your son has been coming to this place
Since as long as i’ve been working here
He’s never missed a single day
In nearly twenty years

He always arrives promptly on time
But a time card he does not keep
For he never leaves this maternity room
Until every last child is asleep”

Then the nurse noticed the father
Trying to choke back the things he now felt
So mentioning she had to continue her rounds
She quietly excused herself

So he was now alone in the darkness
Between the past and future caught
Not knowing what to do
As his mind flooded with so many thoughts

Some beauty comes too early
While its moment never waits
And some beauty is always there
But never seen, till it’s too late

Look! there is a moment
It has just slipped away
And so we lose our lives
In such ordinary ways

Where do we get our dreams from?
Where do we get our faith?
Is it something that we are born with
Or is it something for which we must wait?

The mist of things we once believed
The childhood truths for which we grieve
And in our lives could we have missed
Those that in the dark, the angels kiss

What child is this
Who laid to rest
That I now find here sleeping?
Do angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?

Could this be Christ the king
Whose every breath the angels bring?
Could this be the face of god, this child, the son I once carried?

What child is this
Who is so blessed he changes all tomorrows?
Replacing tears with reborn years
In hearts once dark and hollow

Could this be Christ the king
Whose every breath the angels bring?
Could this be the face of god, this child, the son I once carried?

In the dead of the night
As his life slips away
As he reads by the light
Of a star faraway

Holding on
Holding off
Holding out
Holding in

Could you be this old
And have your life just begin?

Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
It begins
Reading by the light of a lost christmas day

Tell me how many times can this story be told
After all of these years it should all sound so old
But it somehow rings true in the back of my mind
As I search for a dream that words can no longer define

Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
And the time
Reading by the light of a lost christmas day

And the time and the years
And the tears and the cost
And the hopes and the dreams
Of each child that is lost
And the whisper of wings
In the cold winter’s air
As the snow it comes down
And visions appear everywhere

Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
In the air
Reading by the light of a lost christmas day

In the dead of the night
As his life slips away
As he reads by the light
Of a star faraway

Holding on
Holding off
Holding out
Holding in

Could you be this old
And have your life just begin

Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
It begins
Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
It begins
Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
It begins
Reading by the light of a lost christmas day
It begins

20. O’ Come All Ye Faithful

Looking at his son across the room
He feared to cross that divide
But how long could he stay in this dark
That allows us all to hide

Is there a wrong so great in life
That it undoes every good we’ve ever done
Is there an act so good it would undo all our wrongs
Every single one?

And in putting his whole
Life into this gesture
Would failing make it
Any lesser?

Then through the window he thought he saw
In the falling snow so near
The outline of his son’s mother’s face
But then it disappeared

It was only there for a second
And a second’s not long, but yet
It was enough to cause that man
To take that very first step

And that step was followed by another
In that room still lit so dim
And before he realized how far he had gone
His son was directly in front of him

Then the father noticed on the windowsill
An old photo that he long ago had seen
It was a picture of him and his wife
When they were both about nineteen

It was leaning against a folder
That said “property of the deceased”
And underneath was his wife’s name
And the date it had been released

It was obviously her personal possessions
That had been given to his son
Because since he had left them all behind
The child was the only one

His son must have always kept it with him
For the folder was weathered and torn
And he must have gazed at that picture countless times
For it was also all tattered and worn

Then his son noticed him standing there
And from his task looked up
And then looked at the picture beside him
And that one look, was enough

He recognized it was his father
That was now standing there
And gave him a smile of pure love and forgiveness
And of the past, he did not care

He did not care where he had been
The whys, the wheres, the hows
He only cared that his father was there
Standing by him now

Then the father turned and walked across the room
Which by now had lost its distance
And went to the nearest incubator
And picked up a trembling infant

And with the child within his arms
He returned to his son
And all the pain within his soul
At that moment was undone

And he sat in the rocking chair beside him
With the life he had retrieved
And side-by-side together
They rocked all through that Christmas Eve


21. Christmas Canon Rock

Now all that had occurred here this night
The angel had clearly seen
Not unlike an old fashioned movie
Upon a silvered screen
That borders on the edge of a
Forgotten childhood dream

And from all that he had witnessed
He thought his answer he had found
And once more unfolded his wings
And left earth’s solid ground

With every sweep of those wings
Across time and space he soared
Until he found himself standing
Back in heaven, before his lord

And he told his lord the name of the father’s son
But then he hesitated
Like a child in school unsure of his answer
But the lord, he patiently waited

Then the angel added the names
Of the parishioners at the church
The musicians, the storyteller
The operator and the hospital nurse

Eventually there was hardly a person
That the angel had missed
And then at the very end he placed
The father’s name, also on that list

That anyone could reflect his lord’s son
Was now the angel’s view
All it took was to follow the simple word’s of his son
“to do unto others, as you would have others do unto you”

Then the lord smiled at his angel
And said, “you have done more than your task
It’s a gift that eyes rarely have
That can see further than they are asked.”

And so this night is ending
So close to where it did start
As the angel slept deep that night
Within his lord’s own heart

For hope never dies
At worst it only sleeps
And all we surrender
Christmas safely keeps

Through the cold winter nights
Of the longest Decembers
Till here by starlight
We begin to remember

That in the very end
The message christmas is sending
Is that it is never too late
To change any life’s ending

The end

After the end or (the next day)

So Christmas Eve had come and past
But not so christmas day
And thus it is, we add a final act
Onto our yearly play

A taxicab pulled up to the grand hotel,
That morning somewhere around eight
And the father with his son got out
And asked the driver, to please wait

Then the father asked the clerk if he could speak
To the couple in room twelve twenty-four
Adding he did not know the couple’s name
But had met their child the night before

The clerk answered most politely
That he would like to fulfill his wish
But the room number twelve twenty-four
In this hotel, did not exist

The father then described the little girl
Her age and dress as well
But the clerk said there had been no children there at all that week
Was he sure he had the right hotel?

So the father started wondering
If in the cold winter’s air
He had somehow imagined the entire event
But then he realized, he didn’t care

The only thing that mattered
When all was said and done
Was that he was reunited
With his one and only son

And when they got back into their cab
He heard a ripping sound
As the contents of his wife’s folder
Spilled out onto the ground

As he rushed to pick it all up
He grabbed the picture first
Of him and his wife at the age nineteen
Long before she had given birth

And on the back he saw a poem he had written to her
Years before they had wed
When they were young, their lives just begun
And here is what it said,

“if a single tear fell from your eyes into the ocean
And then washed up on some far and distant shore
I would still recognize that teardrop
For in the end that tear would still be yours”

And then he saw another picture
That he had never seen before
Of a little girl in a Russian styled coat
Standing with her parents, in front of their store

The little girl he saw there
He now knew was a childhood picture of his wife
But it was also a picture of the little girl
He had just met on the previous night

And he realized that those who love
Death cannot divide
It only provides an extra soul
To watch over us from the other side

And together they returned
Back to the father’s home
And shared the best christmas
That either of them had ever known

And somewhere across eternity
Which in distance cannot be measured
The mother looked down upon them both
And their happiness she treasured

And later on late that night
When her son was drifting off to sleep
A tear once more rolled from her eyes
And trailed across her cheek

But this one was a tear of joy
That she could not keep inside
And this time she followed it through eternity
Across the great divide

Till it landed by another joyful tear
That her husband had just wept
And there unseen she joined him
In the silent vigil that he kept

For we are all born mortal
Like stars and candlelight
And all that really matters
Is what we do before we fall asleep each night

This night
We pray
Our lives will show

This dream he had
Each child
Still knows

We are waiting
We have not forgotten

On this night
On this night
On this night
On this very christmas night

22. Different Wings

Like the sphinx knows silence
And the pyramids know time
Like Sisyphus knew regret
As he thought about his crime

As Julius knew betrayal
As Judas knew the kiss
And David with his nervous hand
Knew when not to miss

And Helen in her blindness
Knew better how to touch
And Lincoln in his wisdom
Knew the angels in each of us

Like the Delphi knew tomorrow
Like crocodiles know the Nile
Like Michelangelo knew stone
A mother knows her baby’s smile

Then she placed her hands upon his lips
In something akin to a kiss
And in her arms he stayed asleep
As the night grew dark and the child dreamt deep

Dream, child
As childhood wants to do

Dream all this night will allow
Dream, child
Dream with an angel’s view
Out there safe in your clouds

Wait for me now
I will be there for you
No matter what
Tomorrow may bring
This I will vow
I will be there
For this child with different

Dream, child
Stars have been rumored to
See dreams within newborn eyes
And in their arms I believe they do
Keep safe until you arise

Wait for me now
I will be there for you
No matter what
Tomorrow may bring
This I will vow
I will be there
For this child with different wings

And so it’s here our story ends
Exactly where it did start
In that labyrinth of mystery
We call the human heart

For they say that without it
No one can truly live
And it also has been rumored
That without it, we cannot forgive

Merry christmas!

23. Midnight Clear


Part 3 of the Christmas Trilogy by Paul O’Neill
Music By Paul O’Neill, Robert Kinkel, Jon Oliva & Al PitrelliTHE LOST CHRISTMAS EVE
It was the night of Christmas Eve and somewhere on the other side of eternity (which is somewhere after today but before tomorrow) a tear of incredible sadness slowly welled up within the eye of a beautiful young lady.
The sorrow within the tear was so great, that though it desperately wanted to stay with her to give whatever comfort it could, the weight of the pain it contained eventually caused it to fall.
It fell through eternity, across countless galaxies, star systems and universes until it found itself entering the atmosphere of our own world.
There, while falling through the clouds, it was slowed for a moment as it landed on a strand of the Princess of Winter’s snow-white hair.
The tear ran to the end of that strand, where it lingered for a moment, before continuing its fall.
The Princess, having noticed her small visitor, had blessed the teardrop transforming it into a snowflake, which allowed it to continue the remainder of its journey in a gentle descent among countless other snowflakes, until it finally landed in front of an old toy store in New York City.
Now, while the snowflake was nestling in amongst its fellow winter travelers, downtown in the business district on Wall Street, all was unusually quiet.
The streets were empty of people and cars and a thick layer of still falling snow muffled everything, even the footsteps of dreams on their way to tomorrow.
Everyone had gone home early to prepare for all the promised magic of the next day and the lights were out in every office window.
Well, nearly every office window. Up on the fifty-eighth floor of one massive office building, a single office window was still brightly illuminated in cold fluorescent light.
Within that office sat a businessman going through legal documents.
He was a gentleman, in his early sixties with graying hair, but still in excellent physical condition.
Calling for his secretary, the man was visibly annoyed to have received no response.
Getting up, he looked out his office door only to see every desk and cubicle empty.
“Christmas,” he muttered disgustedly as he realized that everyone had long since gone and he would be getting no other work done this night.
Putting on his coat and scarf, he grabbed his briefcase and left. Stepping out to the street, his frustration mounted as he soon came to the conclusion that his probability of finding a cab was extremely low at best.
Resigning himself to the situation, he pulled his coat a little tighter and started walking home.

Meanwhile, across eternity, the Lord called before Him His youngest angel and once more requested him to return to the world of mankind and to bring Him the name of the person that best continued the work of his Son on Earth.
His mission had to be completed in one night, and unlike all his previous journeys to the world of humans, this time he would only be allowed to use his wings twice, once when he descended, and once more when he would leave (not unlike the souls of humans).
So, with the nightfall having already started on Earth, the angel quickly unfolded his wings and began his quest, all the while wondering how he would be able to find this individual.
Humans were such an extremely varied lot, a seemingly infinite mixture of rich and poor, successes and failures, young and old, that he wondered exactly where he could land that would allow him to see as many of these individuals as possible within his allotted time.
As he thought, his mind recalled how on the day his Lord’s Son was born that all roads on the Earth seemed to eventually lead to Rome.
Every individual or idea of note seemed to make its way to that eternal city.
He wondered what was the present day equivalent of that glittering jewel from mankind’s past.
Then, all at once he found himself whispering the words, “New York.” Within moments, he found himself hovering over that city feeling the gentle rhythm of millions of heartbeats, but still unsure of exactly where to land.
Suddenly, he noticed an old Grand Hotel, with a toy store on its right, a blues bar to its left and a nineteenth century gothic style cathedral directly across the street.
Also in this city that often had guards at nearly every door, this hotel had a sign that said, “Vacancies. There is always room for one more.”
Thinking to himself how that sign seemed so appropriate for this night, he landed on the roof of the cathedral across the street from the hotel.
Within a few minutes he realized that people of every race, creed, and age inhabited this block and he slowly took in the scene.

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