Dream Theater: Awake [1994]

Released October 4, 1994
Recorded May – July 1994 at One On One Studios and Devonshire Studios inNorth Hollywood, Los Angeles
Genre Progressive metal
Length 75:00
Label East West
Producer John Purdell and Duane Baron

Awake is the third studio album by American progressive metal band Dream Theater, released on October 4, 1994 by East West Records. It was the last Dream Theater album to feature keyboardist Kevin Moore, who announced his decision to leave the band during the recording of the album.

Much of the material for Awake was written in writing sessions between February and April 1994, during which Dream Theater were under pressure from their record label to produce an album as successful as Images and Words with a single similar to “Pull Me Under“. The label wanted the band to produce a more metal-oriented album, hoping it would be easier to market. John Purdell and Duane Baron producedengineered and mixed the album. The album’s cover, designed by the band, features numerous references to the album’s lyrics.

Dream Theater auditioned for keyboardists to replace Moore for the upcoming world tour and eventually hired Derek Sherinian. He had just two weeks to learn two hours of complex music before the tour started. Sherinian initially took up the position on a trial basis and was asked to become a full member during the tour. After the first leg of the tour, vocalist James LaBriesuffered a violent case of food poisoning, severely damaging his vocal cords. His singing became unpredictable, leading LaBrie to become depressed for much of the tour. His voice only started recovering on the tour for Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence in 2002. The Great Hanshin earthquake hit while the band was touring in Japan.

Released at the height of the popularity of grunge music, Awake received mixed reviews; more recent reviews regard the album as one of the band’s finest. The album peaked at 32 on the US Billboard 200, the highest position a Dream Theater album would reach on that chart until 2007’s Systematic Chaos.[1] “Lie”, “Caught in a Web” and “The Silent Man” were released as singles but failed to be as successful as “Pull Me Under” had been. The band’s record label considered the album a commercial failure, which would lead to the band being pressured to write more radio-friendly songs on their next studio album, Falling into Infinity.

Background

After a month-long break, Dream Theater started working on their third studio album in February 1994. The band’s two-month writing sessions were located at Prince Studios, New York City. The lack of a leader within the band increased tensions in what were already tense sessions. Keyboardist Kevin Moore noted at the time that “there are arguments that last forever because there’s nobody to come in and draw the line”.[2] “When it came to the music, you had [guitarist] John Petrucci and I playing the roles we still kind of play, and Kevin was also a forceful element,” drummer Mike Portnoy said. “In those days, [bassist] John Myung was a little bit more out of his shell, so the bass was a bit more predominant in the band. The fighting never came to blows, but there was a lot of bickering over every single element, like the fine details of what the third note on the sixty-fourth bar should be.”[3]

The success of Dream Theater’s previous album, Images and Words, particularly the single “Pull Me Under“, put pressure on the band to produce a similarly successful follow-up album. “Somebody once said that you have your whole life to prepare for your first album and have about two months to prepare the follow-up, and that was very much the situation we faced in early 1994,” Portnoy noted.[2] The popularity of grunge and heavy metal meant that the band’s record label, East West Records, were keen for the band to create a heavier, darker album.[3] Awake saw Petrucci use a seven-string guitar for the first time, establishing a more riff-based writing style. “This style would further cement the fusion of metal and progressive music, which is what Dream Theater are known for,” Petrucci said. “I think it paved the way for many of our strongest and heaviest later songs like ‘A Change of Seasons‘, ‘The Glass Prison‘ and ‘The Dark Eternal Night‘.”[4] Vocalist James LaBrie described his vocals on Awakeas “more varied and a lot more aggressive”[5] than on Images and Words to the extent that people may think the band had a new singer for the album.[5]

Recording

The recording sessions for the album began in May 1994 at One On One Studios in North Hollywood, Los Angeles, with overdub work done at Devonshire Studios in Los Angeles.[6][7] John Purdell and Duane Baron, whose credits included Ozzy Osbourne‘s No More Tears, were hired to produce the album.[6] The band – who had a difficult relationship with David Prater, the producer on Images and Words – enjoyed working with Purdell and Baron. “I think everyone felt we were able to express ourselves a lot more genuinely,” Petrucci said. “The experience from the road, learning more about our sound and what we like and don’t like enabled us to be more prepared. The producers were totally into capturing that and being patient with us. So everybody walked away being completely satisfied with their performances and their sounds.”[7]

The departure of Moore

Towards the end of the recording sessions, Kevin Moore announced to his bandmates that he was leaving the band.[8] Petrucci, who was childhood friends with the keyboardist, found the news particularly hard to take.[9][10] Myung noted that the announcement “didn’t come out of the blue”.[11] LaBrie noticed changes in Moore at the end of the Images and Words tour. “He seemed to be more distant and wrapped up in himself… It wasn’t that he was rude or unpleasant with anyone,” he said. “But when Mike, John Petrucci and John Myung were in the rehearsal studio putting together the music for Awake, he wasn’t there as he had been in the past. And when he wasthere, the guys told me he’d be sitting reading a magazine when they were trying to work out riffs.”[11] “After the record was recorded in Los Angeles, he returned to New York, sold his belongings, packed everything into his station wagon and said ‘I’m moving away from Long Island,'” Dream Theater’s co-manager Jim Pitulski recalled. “So I asked him where he was moving to, and he said, ‘I’ll let you know when I get there.’ He really had no idea what he was doing and he just started driving across the country. I kind of admired that.”[10]

Moore stated that he decided to leave because his approach to writing music had changed. He had become more interested in writing and recording his own material.[8]Myung said that Moore left the band out of “peace of mind and what he wanted to do musically that he couldn’t do in the band”.[11] The band’s business manager, Rob Shore, suggested that the idea of prolonged touring was a contributing factor in Moore’s decision.[12] Describing Moore as “a very private person”,[12] Portnoy thought that he might have left because “the whole machine of the music business just wasn’t his cup of tea”.[12] When Moore announced his decision to leave, he was single, while LaBrie was married, Portnoy and Petrucci had girlfriends and Myung, according to Portnoy, “was kind of in his own world”.[12] Portnoy speculated that any resentment or jealousy Moore felt because of this may have influenced his decision. After leaving Dream Theater, Moore continued to release music, musically far-removed from his work with the band.[12]

Mixing

Awake was mixed at Unique Studios, New York City. When mixing, Purdell and Baron were initially joined by the remaining members of the band. “We were all in the studio when it first started and it was just unfair to the producers,” vocalist James LaBrie said. “Obviously each guy was focusing on his instrument, so it was like ‘Wait, I want me up more!’ So they were trying to please everyone and you just can’t do that.”[13] The band had to be banned from the mixing sessions to allow Purdell and Baron to mix the album to a high enough standard.[7] “The one great thing, though – even though we were out of the studio – was that they were aware of what we wanted and didn’t want,” LaBrie said. “When David Prater mixed Images and Words it was really unfortunate because he forgot to bring some sections out and he really didn’t understand what we wanted from the final music. When Duane and John went in, they knew everything that needed to be there and how we wanted it to be represented.”[13]

Songs

The album’s opening track, “6:00”, features lyrics written by Moore, hinting at the growing distance between him and the rest of the band. Petrucci wrote the lyrics of “Innocence Faded”, inspired by his deteriorating friendship with Moore. “The way I wrote lyrics a lot of the time is that I’ll take an initial spark of an idea… But then I’ll kind of generalize and add in other situations,” Petrucci said. “So I couldn’t say it was solely about that, but it was definitely inspired by that. There was a feeling of it not being the same way it had been, and the realization that things were not always going to remain the same.”[14]

“Erotomania”, “Voices” and “The Silent Man” form a three-part suite titled “A Mind Beside Itself”. Portnoy stated that the instrumental “Erotomania” was written “off the cuff”[14] as “a bit of a joke and parody”.[14] Petrucci penned the lyrics to “Voices”, dealing with the subject of mental illness. He researched schizophrenia and similar disorders and used religious terms “to make things more vivid”.[15] “When I was writing it, I saw these terms and medical things that were just brilliant,” he said. “Like there was a guy who felt that his skin was inside out. I read that and was like ‘Oh my God! That’s unbelievable; I’ve got to write about that.'”[15] Petrucci wrote the music and lyrics to the acoustic “The Silent Man”. LaBrie described the lyrics as dealing with “communication breakdown, for instance between a father and a son. We feel that we have to play certain roles when around one of our parents, and we never really get to know the real person. I’m lucky that I behave with my own father like I would a friend. We can joke around and go for a beer.”[14]

Portnoy wrote the lyrics to “The Mirror”, describing his battle with alcoholism. He would return to the subject on later Dream Theater albums with his Twelve-step Suite.[16] “Lie” was originally part of “The Mirror”, but LaBrie thought it was strong enough to be a song in itself. “I remember one of the first tapes [the band] sent me to start jamming with up in Canada was ‘The Mirror’,” LaBrie said. “We used to jam instrumentally to it on the last tour and then we built it into a song, with the lyrics and melodies but also within the song was ‘Lie’. I heard this groove and I was going ‘Oh my God, that’s a song in itself!’ So I called up the guys and said ‘Man, I really feel strong about this song. Can’t we take that groove and build a song?'”[17]

“Lifting Shadows off a Dream” began as a poem and two chords brought to the band by Myung. “We worked on it, racked our brains, recorded the jam and by the end of the night we were like ‘Ahh fuck it. This sucks,'” Petrucci recalled. “We came by the next day, listened to the recording and thought it could be really cool. All of a sudden it evolved into this song.”[18]

“Space-Dye Vest” was written by Moore, who brought the piece into the studio as a completed song. “Kevin Moore saw this photograph in a fashion magazine of a beautiful model wearing a space-dye vest and he fell in love with her,” LaBrie said. “He carried that magazine around with him for ages, but he realized that the only way the innocence could be kept, so that he could retain that love for her, was if she stayed on the page. If he’d met her, all that would have been lost.”[15] Portnoy recalled that when the rest of the band first heard the song “we thought it was so very, very different we didn’t think we even wanted to fuck with it.”[15] He said that if they had known Moore was going to leave the band, they would not have included it on the album. Portnoy considered “Space-Dye Vest” “totally 100% [Moore’s] song”,[19] and for that reason the band would never play the song live without Moore.[19] The song was performed live during a Jordan Rudess Concert, with James LaBrie as special guest, but has never been played in a Dream Theater concert by the full band.[20]

Awake is to date, the only Dream Theater album to have lyrical contributions from all five then-current members.

Artwork

Larry Freemantle, who had designed the cover of Images and Words, provided the artwork for Awake. As with Images and Words, the band instructed Freemantle to include several lyrical references in the cover, such as a clock showing the time 6:00, a mirror and a spider in the middle of a web. “The band were very definite about what they wanted, and where they wanted it,” Freemantle said. “The mirror was to be buried in the sand with a factory in the background, so it was just a case of putting it together.”[21] Access Images, the company Freemantle had used for Images and Words, had broken up, meaning that he had to put the cover together using stock imageshimself. “It was done really quickly and I always felt frustrated with that sleeve as I lost too much time on it,” Freemantle said. “I was always up against deadlines on certain things and it got away from me.”[21]

Release and promotion

Awake was released on October 4, 1994 by East West Records.[3][17] LaBrie considered the album’s title to be “the perfect word to describe the album’s lyrics. What we’re basically talking about is the awareness of your existence – becoming closer and more in touch with yourself and ultimately discovering what works best for you as an individual as you try to get through life.”[21] Portnoy dedicated the album to his biggest inspiration, Frank Zappa, who died in 1993.[22]

The album sold 36.160 copies the first week it was released.[23] “Lie“, the album’s lead single, was released in late September. The accompanying music video featured the band, then a four-piece, playing the track at various locations in New York City, including the Brooklyn BridgeTribeca and a tunnel in Manhattan (which had to be temporarily closed in order to complete the shoot). It was hoped that “Lie” would be as successful as “Pull Me Under” had been, but the single failed to make an impact on the charts.[17] “Caught in a Web” and “The Silent Man” were the album’s second and third singles respectively. Portnoy was keen to direct the music video for “The Silent Man”, but East West only offered him a co-directing credit with Pamela Birkhead. On the day of the shoot, Portnoy became violently ill, and when not needed to perform rested in his tour bus bunk.[24]

Touring

With Moore no longer a member of Dream Theater, the band needed to find a replacement keyboardist for the forthcoming world tour in support of Awake. Before the tour started, the band had a headlining concert on September 9, 1994 at the Foundations Forum inBurbank, California. The album was to be unveiled in a live setting for the first time.[25] Jordan Rudess‘ audition impressed the band, with Portnoy claiming that it had “blown his mind”[26] and that Rudess was the “best keyboard player we’d ever seen”.[26]Rudess accepted the band’s offer to perform with them at the Burbank show, but decided against joining the band for the entire tour. At the same time, he had received an offer to perform with the Dixie Dregs for shorter runs of shows and had a job with Kurzweil. Rudess also had a young family and was unsure if Dream Theater “was just going to be a flash in the pan”.[27] “I decided I would be better off going with the Dregs, continuing with Kurzweil and being around for my family as much as possible,” Rudess said.[27] The show was not a success: the band were nervous of playing without Moore and were out of practise from not having played live for some time.[28] Rudess eventually joined Dream Theater as a full band member in 1999.[29]

The band held another round of auditions and were impressed with Derek Sherinian. Sherinian, who studied at Berklee College of Music the year before Petrucci, Portnoy and Myung did, had previously played with Alice Cooper and Kiss and enjoyed similar music to the other members of Dream Theater.[30] He was offered the position on a trial basis at the beginning of October 1994, giving him just two weeks to learn two hours of highly complex music.[31] “It’s one thing going in to play for an artist with hit songs that you’ve heard since you were a kid, and the songs are ingrained in your mind,” Sherinian said. “It was another thing altogether going in with music you’ve never heard before that is totally off the charts as far as technical prowess… But it is amazing what one will do to ascend… when I was in New York at the rehearsals, I would play the songs at night over and over on a loop so that I would be subliminally programmed and it would ingrain it in my head.”[32] Sherinian was officially asked to join the band as a full member in February 1995.[33]

The US leg of the Waking Up The World tour began on October 20, 1994 and finished on December 9.[32] Over Christmas, LaBrie went on holiday to Cuba with his wife, where he had violent food poisoning.[34] Upon his return home he consulted an ears, nose and throat specialist, who told LaBrie that he had ruptured his vocal cords, advising him not to sing for six months to a year. “I was in total shock and devastated,” LaBrie said. “On the US leg I had been so psyched and couldn’t wait to blow everyone away around the rest of the world. We weren’t in a position for me to take a six-month break so I had to keep touring.”[35] LaBrie was able to continue performing, but his voice became unpredictable. “It was absolutely miserable, and it was an extremely dark and depressing period for me,” he recalled. “Literally every fucking night on the European leg, I wouldn’t know if my voice would be there or if it would cooperate… I didn’t feel that my voice really started to come back until maybe the Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence tour in 2002. That’s when I started to feel my range and strength coming back.”[36]

The Great Hanshin earthquake struck Japan while Dream Theater were touring there.[37] Although none of the band was injured, they seriously considered calling off the tour, but only ended up canceling one show. The band held a minute’s silence at every show in Japan in memory of those who had died.[38] During the soundchecks for the Japanese shows, the band rehearsed a series of cover songs. These were performed at a special covers-only show in Ronnie Scott’s Jazz ClubLondon. The show, performed to an invitation-only audience of three hundred, featured guest musicians such as Barney GreenwaySteve HogarthSteve Rothery and Steve Howe.[39] A selection of covers and medleys performed by Dream Theater at this show were released on A Change of Seasons.[40]

Reception

Awake peaked at 32 on the Billboard 200, remaining in the charts for six weeks. This would remain the band’s highest-charting release in the US until 2007’s Systematic Chaos.[1] The album peaked in the top 20 in four countries.[46][47][48][49] Derek Oliver, Dream Theater’s label representative, considered the album to be a commercial failure. This led to the band once again working with David Prater on A Change of Seasons and to the record label putting increasing pressure on the band to make songs on their next studio album, Falling into Infinity, more commercial and radio-friendly.[50][51]

In spite of the plentiful redeeming features on Awake, press reviews were generally subdued. It must of course be remembered that it was released just as theshoegazing, miserable purveyors of the fad known asgrunge were taking hold. The British press in particular seemed dazzled by the work of Kurt Cobain and his cohorts, and anything that wasn’t based around three chords or packed with lyrics championing depression as a lifestyle choice was in for a hard ride.

Upon release, Awake received mixed reviews. Q wrote that “fans of Marillion may well love this, and even the sceptical listener can enjoy the crunching, radio-friendly choruses of ‘Scarred’ and ‘Caught in a Web’.”[45] Guitar World ranked the album as one of the top ten releases of the year, stating that “this shred party left me punch drunk and, for once in my life, fully Awake.”[42] Metal Hammer dismissed Awake as “musical masturbation”:[21] “Progressive rock is basically a very adolescent notion of what ‘grown up’ music might sound like – more notes, longer solos and, best/worst of all, convoluted concepts… Their propensity for pomposity extends to the ballad ‘Silent Man’, which would probably like to be Queensrÿche‘s ‘Silent Lucidity‘ but in fact sounds like Stryper on a particularly pious day”.[21] The album has since sold nearly 400,000.

More recent reviews have been more favorable. Reviewers praised the album’s production, noting the album is darker and heavier than previous Dream Theater releases.[43][52][41] The musicianship of the band has been praised. Phil Carter of Allmusic highlighted Petrucci and Portnoy’s performances;[41] Metal Storm praised LaBrie and Portnoy;[43] Murat Batmaz of Sea of Tranquility praised all the performances, but singled out Moore’s contribution as “immense” and complimented him on “a lucid layer of atmosphere around [the album] built by none other than Kevin Moore.”[52] Carter ranked “Lie“, “Scarred”, “Caught in a Web” and “Space-Dye Vest” as the best tracks.[41] Metal Storm praised “6:00” and the “A Mind Beside Itself” suite.[43]

In a 1995 Guitar World interview, Chuck Schuldiner praised Awake and the band Dream Theater in general, claiming that “their music is very complex, but they definitely have hooks, which is crucial to making music listenable”, citing them as an influence on the more progressive nature of his band Death‘s later material as opposed to the stagnant death metal scene at the time.[53]

Track listing

All music composed by Dream Theater, except where noted.

No. Title Lyrics Length
1. “6:00” Kevin Moore 5:31
2. “Caught in a Web” James LaBrieJohn Petrucci 5:28
3. “Innocence Faded” Petrucci 5:43
4. A Mind Beside Itself: I. Erotomania” (instrumental) 6:45
5. A Mind Beside Itself: II. Voices” Petrucci 9:53
6. A Mind Beside Itself: III. The Silent Man” (Music: Petrucci) Petrucci 3:48
7. “The Mirror” Mike Portnoy 6:45
8. Lie Moore 6:34
9. “Lifting Shadows Off a Dream” John Myung 6:05
10. “Scarred” Petrucci 11:00
11. “Space-Dye Vest” (Music: Moore) Kevin Moore 7:29

Lyrics

1. 6:00

[Samples from the film “The Dead”, an adaptation of James Joyce’s short story from his book]
“Six o’clock on a Christmas morning…”
“And for what?”
“Well, isn’t it for the honor of God, Aunt Kate?”
“I know all about the honor of God, Mary Jane.”

Six o’clock the siren kicks him from a dream
Tries to shake it off but it just won’t stop
Can’t find the strength but he’s got promises to keep
And wood to chop before he sleeps

I may never get over
but never’s better than now
I’ve got bases to cover

He’s in the parking lot and he’s just sitting in his car
It’s nine o’clock but he can’t get out
He lights a cigarette
and turns the music down
but just can’t seem to shake that sound

Once I thought I’d get over
but it’s too late for me now
I’ve got bases to cover

Melody walks through the door
and memory flies out the window
and nobody knows what they want
’til they finally let it all go

The pain inside
coming outside

So many ways to drown a man
So many ways to drag him down
Some are fast and some take years and years
Can’t hear what he’s saying when he’s talking in his sleep
He finally found the sound but he’s in too deep

I could never get over
Is it too late for me now?
Feel like blowing my cover

Melody walks through the door
and memory flies out the window
and nobody knows what they want
’til they finally let it all go

But don’t cut your losses too soon
’cause you’ll only be cutting your throat
And answer a call while you still hear at all
’cause nobody will if you won’t

[Samples from the film “The Dead”, an adaptation of James Joyce’s short story from his book]
“Six o’clock on a Christmas morning…”
“I know all about the honor of God, Mary…”
“I know all about the honor of God, Mary Jane.”

2. Caught In A Web

Silence disguised
I watch you
Show me the hurt
that haunts you
would you despise the thrill
If all you hide were mine?

I can’t hold on any longer
These feelings keep growing stronger
Echoes that deafen the mind
will bury my voice in their wake

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

I’ve seen the path
the one you take
shows the truth
for you to make
This turn of phrase
we might not see
is the thirst of desire
found so easily

Try to push me ’round
the world some more
And make me live in fear
I bare all that I am
made of now
Attractive I don’t care
‘Cause even when I danced with life
no one was there to share

Does this voice the wounds of your soul?
Does this voice the wounds of your soul?

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

Tried to live the life
you live and saw
It doesn’t work for me
I bare all that I am
made of now
Attractive, I can’t be
Inside the Dance of Life is one
I’ll never hold to me

You can’t heal the wounds of my soul.
You can’t heal the wounds of my soul.

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

Caught in a Web
Refused by the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning a cage
Denied and misread

3. Innocence Faded

Animation
breathes a cloudless mind
Fascination
leaves the doubting blind
Until the circle breaks and wisdom lies ahead
the faithful live Awake
the rest remain misled

Some will transcend spinning years
One as if time disappears

Innocence faded
the mirror falls behind you
Trinity jaded
I break down walls to find you

Callow and vain
fixed like a fossil, shrouding pain
Passionless stage
Distant like brothers
Wearing apathetic displays
Sharing flesh like envy in cages
Condescending
Not intending to end

Some will transcend spinning years
One as if time disappears

Innocence faded
the mirror falls behind you
Trinity jaded
I break down walls to find you

Beginnings get complicated
the farther we progress
Opinions are calculated
Immune to openness

Beyond the circle’s edge
We’re driven by her blessings
Forever hesitating
Caught beneath the wheel

Innocence faded
the mirror falls behind you
Cynically jaded
The child will crawl to find you.

4. Erotomania

[Instrumental]

5. Voices

‘Love, just don’t stare’
He used to say to me
every Sunday morning
The spider in the window
The angel in the pool
The old man takes the poison
Now the widow makes the rules

‘So speak, I’m right here’
She used to say to me
not a word, not a word
Judas on the ceiling
the Devil in my bed
I guess Easter’s never coming
So I’ll just wait inside my head

Like a scream but sort of silent
living off my nightmares

Voices repeating me
‘Feeling threatened?
We reflect your hopes and fears.’
Voices discussing me
‘Others steal your thoughts
they’re not confined
within your mind.’

Thought disorder
Dream control
Now they read my mind on the radio
But where was the Garden of Eden?

I feel elated
I feel depressed
Sex is death, Death is sex
Says it right here on my Crucifix

Like a scream but sort of silent
living off my nightmares

Voices protecting me
‘Good behavior
brings the Savior
to his knees.’
Voices rejecting me
‘Others steal your thoughts
they’re not confined
to your own mind.’

[Dialogue by rap artist Prix-mo reading from the book “Cultural Revolution”.]
“I don’t wanna be here, ’cause of my
suffering, ’cause of my illness.
Only love is worth having, only
love is what matters, loving every
people on equal terms. ”
“You’ve got to know who you’re
dealin’ with because, like a stranger,
a-heh, just might come in through
here with a gun… and then, what
would you do? (Heh.)”
“Everything is immaterial…”
“‘n’ you know that reality is immaterial.”
“This is not reality…”

I’m kneeling on the floor
staring at the wall
like the spider in the window
I wish that I could speak
Is there fantasy in refuge?
God in politicians?
Should I turn on my religion?
These demons in my head tell me to

I’m lying here in bed
Swear my skin is inside out
Just another Sunday morning

Seen my diary on the newsstand
Seems we’ve lost the truth to quicksand
It’s a shame no one is praying
‘Cause these voices in my head
keep saying…

‘Love, just don’t stare.’
‘Reveal the Word when you’re
supposed to’
Withdrawn and introverted
Infectiously perverted
‘Being laughed at and confused
keeps us pleasantly amused
enough to stay.’

Maybe I’m just Cassandra fleeting
Twentieth century Icon bleeding
Willing to risk Salvation
to escape from isolation

I’m witness to redemption
heard you speak but never listened
Can you rid me of my secrets?
Deliver us from Darkness?

Voices repeating me
‘Feeling threatened?
We reflect your hopes and fears.’
Voices discussing me
Don’t expect your own Messiah
This neverworld which you desire
is only in your mind.

6. The Silent Man

A question well served,
‘Is silence like a fever?’
‘A voice never heard?’
‘Or a message with no receiver?’

Pray they won’t ask
Behind the stained glass
There’s always one more mask

Has man been a victim
of his woman, of his father?
if he elects not to bother,
will he suffocate their faith?

Desperate to fall
Behind the Great Wall
That separates us all

When there is reason
Tonight I’m Awake
when there’s no answer
Arrive the Silent Man

If there is balance
tonight He’s Awake
If they have to suffer
There lies the Silent Man

Sin without deceivers
A God with no believers
I could sail by
on the Winds of Silence
And maybe they won’t notice
But this time I think
It’d be better if I swim

When there is reason
Tonight I’m Awake
When there’s no answer
Arrive the Silent Man
If there is balance
Tonight he’s Awake
But if they have to suffer
There lies the Silent Man

7. The Mirror

Temptation-
Why won’t you leave me alone?
Lurking Every Corner, everywhere I go

Self Control-
Don’t turn your back on me now
When I need you the most

Constant pressure tests my will
My will or my won’t
My Self Control escapes from me still…

Hypocrite-
How could you be so cruel
and expect my faith in return?

Resistance-
Is not as hard as it seems
When you close the door

I spent so long trusting in you
I trust you forgot
Just when I thought I believed in you…

[Sample is Meryl Streep from the film “Falling In Love”.]
“What’re you doing?
What’re you doing?”

It’s time for me to deal
Becoming all too real
living in fear-
Why did you lie and pretend?
This has come to an end
I’ll never trust you again
It’s time you made your amends
Look in the mirror my friend

[Sample is Jeremy Irons from the film “Damage”.]
“That I haven’t behaved as I should”
[Sample is Mary Beth Hurt from the film “Light Sleeper”.]
“Everything you need is around you. The only danger is inside you.”
[Sample is Jeremy Irons from the film “Damage”.]
“I thought you could control life, but it’s not like that. There are things you can’t control.”

Let’s stare the problem right in the eye
It’s plagued me from coast to coast
Racing the clock to please everyone
All but the one who matters the most

Reflections of reality
are slowly coming into view
How in the hell could you possibly forgive me?
After all the hell I put you through

It’s time for me to deal
Becoming all too real
living in fear-
Why’d I betray my friend?
Lying until the end
Living life so pretend
It’s time to make my amends
I’ll never hurt you again

8. Lie

Daybreak
at the bottom of lake
it’s a hundred degrees I can’t breathe
And I won’t get out
’til I figure it out
Though I’m weak like I can’t believe
So you tell me ‘trust me’ l can trust you
Just let me show you
But I gotta work it out in a shadow of doubt
’cause I don’t know if I know you

Doing fine but don’t waste my time
Tell me what it is you want to say
You sin, you win, just let me in – hurry
I’ve been out in the rain all day
So you tell me ‘trust me’ I can trust you
as far as I can throw you
And I’m trying to get out of a shadow of doubt
’cause I don’t know if I know you

Don’t tell me you wanted me
Don’t tell me you thought of me
I won’t, I swear I won’t
(Did)
I’ll try, I swear I’ll try
(Lie)

Mother Mary quite contrary
Kiss the boys and make them wary
Things are getting just a little bit scary
It’s a wonder I can still breathe

Never been much of a doubting Thomas
but nothing breaks like a broken promise
You tell me ’bout your two more coming
but once is just enough for me

I had gotten used to being a soul destroyed
She comes in apparently to fill the void
All dogs need a leash and
at least I’ll forget it
And she would never hurt me though
she’s never said it
But I’m not gonna ask her today
I don’t wanna scare her away
Your town, I’m all alone
and I just can’t stare at the phone
I wanna talk about lifelong mistakes
and you can tell your stepfather I said so

9. Lifting Shadows Off A Dream

He seems alone and silent
thoughts remain without an answer
Afraid and uninvited
he slowly drifts away

Moved by desire and fear
Breaking delicate wings

Lifting shadows
off a Dream once broken
She can turn a drop of water
Into an ocean

As the rain is pouring down
Tears of sorrow wash his mind
Drifting with the current
This stream of life flows on

He seems alone and silent
waiting on his hands and knees
The chill of winter’s darkness sits quietly

Moved by desire and fear
he takes a few steps away

Lifting shadows
off a Dream once broken
She can turn a drop of water
Into an ocean

And she listens openly

He pours his soul into the water
reflecting the mystery
She carries him away
and the winds die slowly

And she listens openly
And she listens openly

Lifting shadows
off a Dream once broken
She can turn a drop of water
Into an ocean

Lifting Shadows off a Dream
Lifting Shadows off a Dream

10. Scarred

To Rise, To Fall.
To Hurt, To Hate.
To Want, To Wait.
To Heal, To Save.

Can’t hear it
we fear it
awareness won’t come near it

Distractive
Reactive
Disguised in spite of time

I never bared my emotion
My passion always strong
I never lost my devotion
but somewhere fate went wrong

Can’t let them rape me again
Your venom’s not family here
won’t let them fill me with
fatalistic remedies

What if the rest of the world
was hopelessly blinded by fear?
Where would my sanctity live?
Suddenly nobody cares.

It’s never enough
You’re wasting your time
Isn’t there something I could say?
You don’t understand
You’re closing me out
How can we live our lives this way?

You tell me I’m wrong
I’m risking my life
Still, I have nothing in return
I show you my hands
You don’t see the scars
Maybe you’ll leave me here to burn.

What if the rest of the world
was hopelessly drowning in vain?
Where would our self pity run?
Suddenly everyone cares.

Blood…Heal me
Fear…Change me
Belief will always save me
Blood…Swearing
Fear…Staring
Conviction made aware

Give up on misery
Turn your back on dissent
Leave their distrust behind
Wash your hands of regret

Do you feel you don’t know me anymore?
And do you feel I’m afraid of your love?
And how come you don’t want me asking?
And how come my heart’s not invited?
You say you want everyone happy
Well, we’re not laughing.

And how come you don’t understand me?
And how come I don’t understand you?
Thirty years say we’re in this together
So open your eyes.

People in prayer for me
everyone there for me
Sometimes I feel I should face this alone
My soul exposed
It calms me to know that I won’t

Blood…Heal me
Fear…Change me
Belief will always save me
Blood…Swearing
Fear…Staring
Conviction made aware

Give up on misery
Turn your back on dissent
Leave their distrust behind
Wash your hands of regret

Blood…Heal me
Fear…Change me
Belief will always save me
Blood…Swearing
Fear…Staring
Conviction made aware

Learning from misery
Staring back at dissent
Leaving distrust behind
I’m inspired and content

11. Space-Dye Vest

Falling through pages of Martens on angels
Feeling my heart pull west
I saw the future dressed as a stranger
love in a space-dye vest

Love is an act of blood and I’m bleeding
a pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start

[Sample is Julian Sands from the film “A Room With A View”.]
“But he’s the sort who can’t know
anyone intimately, least of all a
woman. He doesn’t know what a woman
is. He wants you for a possession,
something to look at like a painting or an ivory box.
Something to own and to display. He doesn’t want you to be real,
or to think or to live. He doesn’t love you, but I love you.
I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and
feelings, even when
I hold you in my arms. It’s our last chance… It’s our
last chance…”

Now that you’re gone I’m trying to take it
Learning to swallow the rage
Found a new girl I think we can make it
as long as she stays on the page

This is not how I want it to end
And I’ll never be open again

[Sample from “The Trouble With Evan”, from the Canadian series “The Fifth Estate”.]
“…I was gonna move out…ummm…get,
get a job, get my own place, ummm,
but… I go into the mall where I
want to work and they tell me, I’m,
I was too young…”

[Sample is Jim Hill from a news commentary about the OJ Simpson freeway chase.]
“Some people, gave advice before,
about facing the facts, about
facing reality. And this is, this
without a doubt, is his biggest
challenge ever. He’s going to have to face it.
You’re gonna have to try, he’s gonna to have to try and,
uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can
say they know how he feels.”

[Sample from the Conan O’Brien show.]
“That, so they say that, in ya know
like, Houston or something, you’d
say it’s a hundred and eighty degrees,
but it’s a dry heat.
In Houston they say that?
Oh, maybe not. I’m all mixed up.
Dry until they hit the swimming pool.”

[Sample from “The Trouble With Evan”, from the Canadian series “The Fifth Estate”.]
“…I get up with the sun… Listen.
You have your own room to sleep in,
I don’t care what you do. I don’t
care when. That door gets locked,
that door gets locked at night by nine o’clock.
If you’re not in this house by nine o’clock, then you’d
better find some
place to sleep. Because you’re not going to be a bum in
this house.
Supper is ready…”

There’s no one to take my blame
if they wanted to
There’s nothing to keep me sane
and it’s all the same to you
There’s nowhere to set my aim
so I’m everywhere
Never come near me again
do you really think I need you

I’ll never be open again, I could never be open again.
I’ll never be open again, I could never be open again.

And I’ll smile and I’ll learn to pretend
And I’ll never be open again
And I’ll have no more dreams to defend
And I’ll never be open again

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